Letter from my father to my grandfather.
New York, March 13, 2003
Don Conrado,
In the 53 years that I have been giving this world problems, I have never heard (or rather, read) anyone refer to me in this way…My legs and hands began to tremble, but more than anything, my soul. What an honor! What a miracle! What a responsibility!
The only thing I can say is that I hope I could give to you in return, even a millimeter of what you and yours have given me. The Camilo 21 years ago was arrogant, an imbecile that had no conscience of what he was doing, of what he wanted, of what mattered…the truth is I knew nothing. I was a world of confusion, an imbecile with all the luck in the world.
And so, in the words of Cortez: God squeezes but he does not drown. And so one day, a fairy with brown eyes came to my door. At the most opportune time, when my lake was almost dry. Your daughter…Julia. In her suitcase, she brought with her, a family. Once opened, the suitcase revealed the sweetness, the camaraderie, the friendship, and all those elements that make your family something so special. I know that sometimes you don’t appreciate the deepness of your own love. Probably because since you’ve always had it, you don’t notice it as much. But to those of us who are looking from the outside in, we see it with great admiration and sometimes, almost with envy.
But let me tell you who is Julia in my life:
She is more than my lover and wife, she is my companion who eases my troubles.
My guide, my light, my air.
She is the magic that makes me live everyday.
She is my present, the candle that guides me through life.
She is the steady hand that sharpens the blade of my transgressions.
My path, lighthouse and lighthouse keeper that illuminates the path of my bohemian
The voice that calls my name, the light and shadow of my soul.
I thought it important to express my feelings. To tell you the significance of this marvelous being in my life; because she is the living reflection of what you and your wife are. Kindness, tenderness, and grace can only be learned in the house of our fathers.
Thank you Conrado, thank you Lucia, Thank you Clara María, Thank you Sara Patricia, Thank you José Ricardo, Thank you Pedro Miguel (old Peter), thank you Juan Camilo, thank you Ana Cecilia, thank you Andrés Conrado. I owe thanks to all of you, but above every one else, to you, and Lucia…and of course, my Julia.
Love,
Camilo
